Just about every motivational workshop and class I have taken has some component of figuring out or remembering your “Why.” Simply put they want you to know your deeper reason for achieving your goals. That’s your Why. All the parents say the reason they want to achieve their goals is for their children. Others may say to they want to achieve their goals because they want to be the first millionaire in their family, or to prove someone wrong. I’ve never been quite clear on my Why until very recently. I discovered a way to create a more effective motivator to achieve my goals. I had to feel my Why for it to really matter. Below, we will go more into detail of how experiencing your Why is a more sustainable way to stay motivated, determined and consistent.
I have also known that I deserve more, my children deserve more, and my partner deserves more. That’s the Why I have been telling myself. This is logical. This reasoning makes sense. Personally, however, I need emotions attached to these ideologies to give it extra charge to be a more effective motivator. Have you ever heard the saying, “People will forget what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel”? This quote resonates with me to my core. If there’s an emotion attached with my experience, I will remember that experience for a lifetime.
What’s in a feeling?
We as humans are emotional beings. We often underestimate the power of our feelings. They can trigger reactions and impulses out of us that we never knew we were capable of. An emotionally charged experience can mold our behavior and how we respond to similar situations later in life. This be positive or negative, either way it can be a conscious or a subconscious lesson learned. If you are an empath and highly sensitive person like me, perhaps emotional coupling would be a more effective motivator for you as well.
My Experience…
My son and I were recently at an arcade for a friend’s birthday party. At this arcade, you can win tickets on various games and then redeem those tickets for prizes at the prize counter. When my son was about done playing games, he wanted to redeem his tickets. He had won 310 tickets. However, all the prizes he really wanted were going to cost more tickets than what he had. I tried pointing out the other prizes that were within his ticket budget, but none appealed to him. I asked him if he wanted to pick one of the 300 and under prizes OR if he wanted to wait to win some more tickets. To my surprise, he said he wanted to wait to win more tickets.
I was surprised because he is more apt towards instant gratification instead of delayed gratification. I was proud of him. Instead of coming back another time, I decided we would find a game with the highest probability of winning the most tickets since we only had a few playing coins left. I chose the mallet game where you whack a target with the mallet as hard as you can, sending the light up a scale of numbers. Each number is the number of tickets you will win. My son and I took turns. My 2 whacks earned him 100 tickets each! It hit that target with conviction. He ended up with a total of 580 tickets. When he got to choose a Minecraft light-up sword, his face lit up with such excitement.
My Realization…
I was proud of my son for choosing delayed gratification. Therefore, I was determined to help him yield as many tickets as possible while still having fun together. His immense joy was all the reward I needed. I was proud of myself too. I was proud of myself for putting a smile on my son’s face.
This moment has stuck with me. I was proud of myself into the next day and that’s when I realized that my children really are my Why. Furthermore, I realized this is how it will feel when my children get to reap the fruits of my labor. If I can keep this memory in my pocket and apply this energy towards all that I do, I’m positive I will accomplish all my goals. I’m positive this will be a more effective motivator for me. The sky is the limit.
Listen, not a lot of time has passed since this experience. But this experience sure has inspired me to keep going. It has inspired me not to give up and to figure out what my blocks are.
Additional Confirmation…
Today, I listened to a guided meditation on the Gabby Coaching App. I subscribe to this coaching app as I have been a long-time learner of Gabby’s teachings. Her messages resonate with me. Anyway, today’s guided meditation was about patience. I really didn’t think patience had to do with any of my issues at first. As I kept listening to the meditation, I realized it’s a huge part of my shortcomings. It’s ironic how the messages we need, show up at the perfect time, when we are truly ready for them.
Through this lesson around patience, I’ve come to see that my son set an example of patience when he chose delayed gratification at that arcade. Don’t see the result you want? Keep going. Witnessing my four year old’s patience and persistence was an inspiration and perhaps a more effective motivator in and of itself.
I never noticed how every time I start a new creative endeavor, like this blog for example, I eventually let it fizzle out after not getting the results I want right away. Patience is exactly my problem. It’s not my only problem, but it’s a big one. If I don’t have patience, how can I possibly have perseverance, persistence, and consistency?! These virtues are imperative when it comes to being successful.
What’s it to you?
If you know what your “Why” is logically, but it hasn’t been the magic motivation it’s supposed to be, maybe you just haven’t FELT your why. Maybe you haven’t experienced a mini example of your Why. I implore you to be present when even a small opportunity to experience this comes your way. Maybe they are opportunities with your family. Or perhaps they are small goals that will eventually lead you to your bigger goal. Then you can relish in the feelings (albeit dopamine) that come with your small accomplishments. Then you can truly feel how this experience can be a more effective motivator for you too.
My friends, I am wishing you all the best and success.
Yours Truly,
Ashley
gybhvUJjDErW
WkhgxBbjmerf